When you’re finished changing, you’re finished. -Benjamin Franklin
Over the weekend I replaced the rug in our entry hall for the second time since we’ve lived here. The first time was about 6 years ago, when I laid down a beautiful round wool shell rug that I found and fell in love with. The colors, the shape, the design all moved me and I was thrilled to have it in our home.
My treasure was met with shrieks and moans about what did you do with the other rug? I liked the one that was there! Why do you always have to change things?
Change can be hard, uncomfortable and even painful. Even when it is change you choose: moving to a new city, trying a new haircut, leaving a marriage or changing a job; there is adjustment and consciousness necessary to move you forward into a new place where you can continue to grow and again, eventually feel comfortable.
When it is change you do not choose, it takes great effort, patience and compassion with yourself to move through it. If it is something life changing, you can feel blindsided, and temporarily stunned.
When facing unexpected change, or preparing for planned change, there are some strategies that can help.
Worst Case Scenario
If you know change is coming, you can mitigate some fear by considering your ˜worst case scenario”. Running through your worst outcome can dissipate the fear, and prepare you for how you’ll cope in the case things go the worst way. Without addressing this, the vague, imagined devastation of your worst case can loom out of control.
Embrace what is
With unexpected change, our first intuition is to push it away and reject it, so maybe it won’t feel as real and uncomfortable as it does. Most times this response can make the discomfort all the more lingering and unbearable.
Eckhart Tolle teaches “Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say yes to life and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.”
Be in the moment. Feel the discomfort, anxiety and unfamiliarity. Feel the pain, or sadness. Be still, be brave. Feel what you feel. Embracing the pain and discomfort will help it subside. Being present in discomfort and pain is the quickest way through it. Trust yourself and your intuition. Have your feelings of sadness, but don’t wallow. Move on in a positive direction. Ask for help if you need it. Practice meditation to center and ground you in the present moment.Â Try journaling about all the feelings that come up.
Remember The Bigger Picture
Have faith that everything that happens in your life is conspiring for your ultimate best outcome, even when you can’t see it. Change should be seen as a gift… an agent that takes you to a new level.
This past weekend I decided it was time to change the rug. My husband has always thought it odd we had a shell rug in the front hallway, when we are on a lake, not a beach. I found a beautiful indigo rug that I decided would work well. The shell rug that was originally shunned is now the old favorite, and “how can I think of changing it?”
My beautiful shell rug will be up in my studio, now. The new rug is in the front hall. It is a metaphor for a new era in our lives. I am going to love this rug.
The price of doing the same old thing is far higher than the price of change. -Bill Clinton
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