The story of my Ted talk…
I have had a Ted talk in me since I heard my first one.
I couldn’t tell you which one that was, because once I started listening to them, I was hooked.
Simple but profound concepts packaged into a 12-18 minute talk to inspire and help us see things we hadn’t before.
Whenever I had an idea, I would imagine myself on the stage conveying my inspiring message passionately to people!
I have formulated snippets of the talks in my head whenever I’m running, or showering… powerful bits that would help people see things differently.
In real life, however, whenever I had to stand and speak, I usually freaked out. My heart would start pounding, and waves of adrenaline would flow.
I still, however, imagined myself speaking to people and helping them with my message. Whenever I saw this in my minds eye, I was inspiring!
Tedx, in my town!
When I became an entrepreneur, I created my business and my mission, and began putting it out into the world.
And I applied to do my first Ted talk.
I was elated when after my interview with the panel, I got the call that I had been accepted to participate in the Tedx production in my city!
I began the prep.
I wrote my talk.
I re-wrote my talk.
I got feedback from my nearest and dearest.
Rewrote my talk.
Rewrote my talk again.
I watched and re-watched my favorites… Brene Brown, The Minimalists, Simon Sinek… to name a few!
How could someone who has been rehearsing her Ted talk for the last 10 years not have the final thing nailed down yet??
The point of no return.
At 2 weeks till the day, I cut myself off from rewrites.
This was what I was going with, and I wasn’t looking back.
I began the monotonous task of memorization.
I am very visual, and I can remember a song, but I found the memorizing of my talk to be more difficult than I had anticipated.
My sister is an actor, and informed me that if I read it 250 times, I would know it. I quickly did the math, and realized that I would be reading and reciting this thing night and day till I gave it.
I carried it with me everywhere.
I read it in the morning.
Recited it in the shower.
Read it to my husband.
Read it to the mirror.
Read it to my dog.
Read it to my neighbor.
Filmed it and sent it to my sister.
Hijacked by my body!
As I was preparing, my body did an interesting (frustrating!) thing, which I still cannot explain.
I had taken a big bold step, applied, been accepted, and committed to do this big scary thing, and my body was having none of it.
I developed an excruciating pain that did not let me stand. I could barely walk, and had to take pain medication to even be able to bear being awake. Which I was, because of the pain.
I went to 2 different doctors, including a specialist, and no-one could tell me what it was, much less offer relief.
As the date of my talk grew closer, I began to fear how I would actually stand and do it.
I was unable to practice while standing, and the pain was sometimes unbearable.
Miraculously, a medication I was taking provided relief in the 2 days leading up to the talk. The pain lessened, and I was able to do the “dress rehearsal” without issue.
The day I had been preparing for arrived, and the pain threatened to come back.
I had been good for 2 days, thinking it was behind me. My turn was not until the afternoon, so I took it easy in my seat, sitting slouched where the pain was less, watching the other speakers.
My turn came. The pain had receded, and I went backstage to get ready to go out.
I walked to the stage and although I felt no pain, my legs suddenly began shaking uncontrollably, and my mouth went dry!
Yikes! My body was waging one last desperate effort to keep me from doing this!
Should I have taken something to calm down?
Maybe if I had been able to practice while standing?
I was unprepared for my body’s physical response to walking out onto the stage, the lights, the applause…
Miraculously, I began, and although I was distracted and worried that everyone could see my legs shaking, I did my talk.
I didn’t pass out, and I didn’t fall over.
I also had trouble looking at the audience, didn’t move around the stage much, and was not fully the charismatic speaker I imagined.
I did my Ted talk!
Later that day, and from that day on, I have not had the undiagnosed, debilitating pain I experienced leading up to the talk.
What happened to me physically?
Was my fear causing my body to sabotage me?
I may never know.
I do know I overcame my obstacles and did it anyway.
I am working on my next one, and all the things I will do differently.
Will my body cooperate this time?
I think it will. I have pushed past my comfort zone and into new territory.
Watch my first Tedx talk, here:
Kimberly is a home and lifestyle coach, helping women identify and realize their best home and life. She has been featured in publications and podcasts, and is a Huffington Post contributor. She believes our surroundings and relationships have a direct effect on how happy we are. If you want to learn more about how to live in alignment, raise your vibration and create your peaceful, happy home and life, click here to get weekly tips and more information on working with her.