Everyone has ups and downs.
When times are good, it’s easy to keep our spirits up, and our vibration high.
When things are not going our way, it gets more challenging, but it’s well worth the effort to notice and make a shift when we feel our vibe sinking.
The support of friends and family can help you through the tough times, but ultimately how we feel rests on us, and how we decide to show up.
For me, that’s a relief… that I get to choose. Like anything else, with some practice, we can get really good at choosing our responses to situations that will keep us in a positive frame.
Practicing keeping our vibration high will help us when we encounter the negative people we come across. Some of them we can choose to edit from our lives.
Others are important to us, and we want and need to find a strategy for living happily with them.
Do you live with someone who is living in a low vibe? A low vibration can manifest in a victim mentality, anger, or sadness. They may always see the glass as half empty, or constantly bemoan their bad luck. Sometimes these people just expect that things will not go their way, so why bother? They may get angry easily, or always be looking for a fight.
It is easy to let their mood affect yours. Or, to get pulled in and feel for the person; want to solve it for them, or just get them happier, so they aren’t bringing you down!
It’s painful when someone you love is hurting, or just not functioning on a happy level. It is really tempting to try to help them, or fix things for them, or even try to minimize what they’re going through to get things back to comfortable and “ok.”
We all know that it’s difficult, if not impossible, to change someone else. Taking on their pain, and trying to fix something is a codependent behavior, and not healthy for either one of you. It denies the sufferer his journey. A path he or she must travel to learn and grow through in order to emerge as the person they are turning into.
Honor their journey, and don’t try to spare them. (If someone is depressed and speaks of hurting themselves or someone else, this is a situation for a professional therapist to handle.)
Hold space for them, and let them come through in their time.
Sometimes you need to address how someone’s negativity or mood is affecting you. When you do this, be honest and kind. Let them know how you feel, and why. It may not change things, but talking about it and letting them know your feelings is essential to open and honest communication.
Usually, you can’t change people unless they want to change themselves. The impetus can come from a deal breaker situation, or from their enlightenment, but is not guaranteed.
Sometimes if you try too hard to change someone, they resist even harder, and the problem becomes worse.
We really can only change ourselves.
When you don’t try to change them at all… when you approach it from how you can see the situation differently, that’s when things can change. Notice your attitudes and reactions, taking care to be as accepting and supportive as you can be, while holding your own in the relationship. If you make sure that you are ok, then you can allow them to show up as they need to. That is when you really see change.
Funny thing, though… the change that comes is usually not in the other person at all, but in your attitude towards the situation.
You have changed how you see and respond to them, and that can make all the difference.
3 tips for taking care of yourself when you are involved in a negative relationship:
Meditate. Take some time to purposefully shield yourself from negativity. When you rise in the morning, visualize a bubble of light around you, protecting you from lower vibes, and helping you thrive, no matter what your day brings. Make sure to take good care of yourself with enough sleep, healthy food and things that make you happy.
Honor their journey.
See your loved one’s attitudes and hardships as a phase they need to go through in order to grow into the person they are becoming. A necessary quest they will be better for having come through. “Saving” them may feel more comfortable, but in that way you are denying them their journey. Hold space for them in what they are going through, but don’t try to change or fix it.
Speak up when you need to.
Address situations that are adversely affecting the household with honesty, and encourage further support where necessary. Don’t take things personally. In some cases, you may need to limit your contact with the person, or find some time alone to refresh.
How have you dealt with negative people in your life? How have you handled it? I’d love to hear in the comments!
Kimberly is a home and lifestyle coach, helping women identify and realize their best home and life. She has been featured in publications and podcasts, and is a Huffington Post contributor. She believes our surroundings and relationships have a direct effect on how happy we are. If you want to learn more about how to live in alignment, raise your vibration and create your peaceful, happy home and life, click here to get weekly tips and more information on working with her.